I think I'm at the point in my life where I don't need someone there. More like I want someone there. With that being said, I'm not that person where I seek approval and companionship to the point where I will force someone to stay.
I want someone to want it. Not someone to be told to stay.
You never outgrow disappointment though.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
It is what it is
My passion for nice things is either going to drive me to success
... or kill me one day.
... or kill me one day.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Inspiration
As those of you might know that read this, I have been preparing for the fast approaching date of graduation. Being a person that plans ahead (and at many times accused of planning way too much, way too far ahead) I have decided to start my freelancing early on and get a head start.
I've been very lucky to have so many inspirational people in my life, and women that have gone through what I am going through now. It helps to know that it is possible, and watching the interview of my former boss really helped me get back on track in terms of the vision I had set for myself around a year ago. You can watch this interview here. She started out just like me as a designer and now earns six figures!
I have to be honest and say I've been drifting off track lately. This however, made me remember why I want to do what I do. Most of all, to take it one step at a time. It feels like my brain and what I want is constantly wanting to go on fast-forward mode. I have to get myself one of those "Stay Calm and Carry On" posters that I used to mock.
Time for sleep... after reading the Hunger Games' second novel!
I've been very lucky to have so many inspirational people in my life, and women that have gone through what I am going through now. It helps to know that it is possible, and watching the interview of my former boss really helped me get back on track in terms of the vision I had set for myself around a year ago. You can watch this interview here. She started out just like me as a designer and now earns six figures!
I have to be honest and say I've been drifting off track lately. This however, made me remember why I want to do what I do. Most of all, to take it one step at a time. It feels like my brain and what I want is constantly wanting to go on fast-forward mode. I have to get myself one of those "Stay Calm and Carry On" posters that I used to mock.
Time for sleep... after reading the Hunger Games' second novel!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Workaholic in the Making
Although I have given in to many retail therapy sessions, I have got to say that as weird as it might sound, the best comfort for me is in working. It gives me a sense of comfort that at times, even shopping for shoes at 4am in the morning doesn't give me. Perhaps its the secret pleasure of knowing that I am one of those few people that actually loves their job, and at the same time allows me to earn a little bit of cash while taking part in this form of "entertainment."
Don't get me wrong, there are those days where all I want to do, is curl up in my bed and watch continuous episodes of Suburgatory, and be entertained for hours with my favorite kind of dry sarcastic remarks. I am lucky though that these days don't come around very often.
I just now watched the clock on my computer turn to 2:30 AM, and I have no idea how to end this blog entry. I am clearly out of practice.
Don't get me wrong, there are those days where all I want to do, is curl up in my bed and watch continuous episodes of Suburgatory, and be entertained for hours with my favorite kind of dry sarcastic remarks. I am lucky though that these days don't come around very often.
I just now watched the clock on my computer turn to 2:30 AM, and I have no idea how to end this blog entry. I am clearly out of practice.
Monday, November 28, 2011
A Tylenol and with cracker. Mix well. Serve after midnight.
Hello there my blogger friend,
I am back. Probably not by choice as in I chose to be up at this hour; although I do count it as a guilty pleasure of downloading yet another new app for this endeavor.
Much time has gone by since my last post. Although event-wise nothing much has happened, (my website is still "half" done) I do believe I've made quite a transformation as a person. I'm still not quite sure whether I like this person or not. Maybe on hind sight I would think of this as yet another one of my "rebellious stages" that I happen to have every so often. But this is who I have become now.
What I am now is equivalent to that use-to-be redhead from America's Next Top Model. Maybe not in that out of the closet lesbian sorta way, but I call myself "free." Free with those huge stupid air quotation marks around the word. Like she was actually running away from something or someone... I like to see it more of settling into what was meant to be all along.
I used to be that girl with the bi-weekly manicures. Now my favorite signature look is that constant chipped nail(s) that's always staring back at me. I used to care about being nice to someone, to not even trying. I'm now that person that relish in spending time by myself simply because it's easier that way. Im so far gone, I now romanticize eating a cracker and swallowing Tylenol by myself in the kitchen in the middle of the night after a round of having my head in the toilet from throwing up.
In some weird sick twisted way, I actually enjoy this new me. I love not having to pretend that my mom makes any sense or that she even tries to hide the fact that I am her least favorite child. Or that she even made a positive difference in my life. No longer having to nod at dry shallow "adult conversation" that explained why she even bothered to ask what I was doing with my life lately. She just wanted to show others that she actually was involved with her daughters' life.
The best part? I can scream like a maniac about the injustice of it all when I could only do so in my dreams before.
I am free.
I am back. Probably not by choice as in I chose to be up at this hour; although I do count it as a guilty pleasure of downloading yet another new app for this endeavor.
Much time has gone by since my last post. Although event-wise nothing much has happened, (my website is still "half" done) I do believe I've made quite a transformation as a person. I'm still not quite sure whether I like this person or not. Maybe on hind sight I would think of this as yet another one of my "rebellious stages" that I happen to have every so often. But this is who I have become now.
What I am now is equivalent to that use-to-be redhead from America's Next Top Model. Maybe not in that out of the closet lesbian sorta way, but I call myself "free." Free with those huge stupid air quotation marks around the word. Like she was actually running away from something or someone... I like to see it more of settling into what was meant to be all along.
I used to be that girl with the bi-weekly manicures. Now my favorite signature look is that constant chipped nail(s) that's always staring back at me. I used to care about being nice to someone, to not even trying. I'm now that person that relish in spending time by myself simply because it's easier that way. Im so far gone, I now romanticize eating a cracker and swallowing Tylenol by myself in the kitchen in the middle of the night after a round of having my head in the toilet from throwing up.
In some weird sick twisted way, I actually enjoy this new me. I love not having to pretend that my mom makes any sense or that she even tries to hide the fact that I am her least favorite child. Or that she even made a positive difference in my life. No longer having to nod at dry shallow "adult conversation" that explained why she even bothered to ask what I was doing with my life lately. She just wanted to show others that she actually was involved with her daughters' life.
The best part? I can scream like a maniac about the injustice of it all when I could only do so in my dreams before.
I am free.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
New Splash Page!
In anticipation of the soon to be going live Eight Bit Zoo website, I have finally remade my new splash page. How this one differs from my last one, is its closer resemblance and aesthetic to my new site! Check it out here.
As well, exciting news! Finally decided on a company to print my t-shirts on! Whoop!But that's still a long way away since the website is taking priority right now.
Stay tuned!
xoxo
As well, exciting news! Finally decided on a company to print my t-shirts on! Whoop!But that's still a long way away since the website is taking priority right now.
Stay tuned!
xoxo
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Strong Women
As I was watching the new Chinese drama, I felt really disturbed. It was then that I finally realized why I always preferred American ones. Why is it that women are always stepped on and make it seem like they are doing the community good by not standing up for their own rights? Like this one show in particular where clearly the man wants nothing to do with the woman except to use her for the little money she saves up each week, and still that is not enough for him. Although he didn't consort to physically abusing her, but the comments he makes just to make her feel bad made me stop watching the show altogether.
These shows always makes me think of all the times in the past where I did not defend myself or stand up for what I believe in just because I wanted to keep a guy happy. It is not until now that I finally feel what it is like to be an equal in a relationship. Most importantly, to be loved for who I am, and not who I can become.
These shows always makes me think of all the times in the past where I did not defend myself or stand up for what I believe in just because I wanted to keep a guy happy. It is not until now that I finally feel what it is like to be an equal in a relationship. Most importantly, to be loved for who I am, and not who I can become.
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