A Day

I think I'm at the point in my life where I don't need someone there. More like I want someone there.  With that being said, I'm not that person where I seek approval and companionship to the point where I will force someone to stay.

I want someone to want it. Not someone to be told to stay.





You never outgrow disappointment though.

It is what it is

My passion for nice things is either going to drive me to success



... or kill me one day.

Inspiration

As those of you might know that read this, I have been preparing for the fast approaching date of graduation. Being a person that plans ahead (and at many times accused of planning way too much, way too far ahead) I have decided to start my freelancing early on and get a head start.

I've been very lucky to have so many inspirational people in my life, and women that have gone through what I am going through  now. It helps to know that it is possible, and watching the interview of my former boss really helped me get back on track in terms of the vision I had set for myself around a year ago. You can watch this interview here. She started out just like me as a designer and now earns six figures!

I have to be honest and say I've been drifting off track lately. This however, made me remember why I want to do what I do. Most of all, to take it one step at a time. It feels like my brain and what I want is constantly wanting to go on fast-forward mode. I have to get myself one of those "Stay Calm and Carry On" posters that I used to mock.

Time for sleep... after reading the Hunger Games' second novel!

Workaholic in the Making

Although I have given in to many retail therapy sessions, I have got to say that as weird as it might sound, the best comfort for me is in working. It gives me a sense of comfort that at times, even shopping for shoes at 4am in the morning doesn't give me. Perhaps its the secret pleasure of knowing that I am one of those few people that actually loves their job, and at the same time allows me to earn a little bit of cash while taking part in this form of "entertainment."

Don't get me wrong, there are those days where all I want to do,  is curl up in my bed and watch continuous episodes of Suburgatory, and be entertained for hours with my favorite kind of dry sarcastic remarks. I am lucky though that these days don't come around very often.

I just now watched the clock on my computer turn to 2:30 AM, and I have no idea how to end this blog entry. I am clearly out of practice.

A Tylenol and with cracker. Mix well. Serve after midnight.

Hello there my blogger friend,

I am back. Probably not by choice as in I chose to be up at this hour; although I do count it as a guilty pleasure of downloading yet another new app for this endeavor.

Much time has gone by since my last post. Although event-wise nothing much has happened, (my website is still "half" done) I do believe I've made quite a transformation as a person. I'm still not quite sure whether I like this person or not. Maybe on hind sight I would think of this as yet another one of my "rebellious stages" that I happen to have every so often. But this is who I have become now.

What I am now is equivalent to that use-to-be redhead from America's Next Top Model. Maybe not in that out of the closet lesbian sorta way, but I call myself "free." Free with those huge stupid air quotation marks around the word. Like she was actually running away from something or someone... I like to see it more of settling into what was meant to be all along.

I used to be that girl with the bi-weekly manicures. Now my favorite signature look is that constant chipped nail(s) that's always staring back at me. I used to care about being nice to someone, to not even trying. I'm now that person that relish in spending time by myself simply because it's easier that way. Im so far gone, I now romanticize eating a cracker and swallowing Tylenol by myself in the kitchen in the middle of the night after a round of having my head in the toilet from throwing up.

In some weird sick twisted way, I actually enjoy this new me. I love not having to pretend that my mom makes any sense or that she even tries to hide the fact that I am her least favorite child. Or that she even made a positive difference in my life. No longer having to nod at dry shallow "adult conversation" that explained why she even bothered to ask what I was doing with my life lately. She just wanted to show others that she actually was involved with her daughters' life.

The best part? I can scream like a maniac about the injustice of it all when I could only do so in my dreams before.

I am free.

New Splash Page!

In anticipation of the soon to be going live Eight Bit Zoo website, I have finally remade my new splash page. How this one differs from my last one, is its closer resemblance and aesthetic to my new site! Check it out here.

As well, exciting news! Finally decided on a company to print my t-shirts on! Whoop!But that's still a long way away since the website is taking priority right now.

Stay tuned!
xoxo

Strong Women

As I was watching the new Chinese drama, I felt really disturbed. It was then that I finally realized why I always preferred American ones. Why is it that women are always stepped on and make it seem like they are doing the community good by not standing up for their own rights? Like this one show in particular where clearly the man wants nothing to do with the woman except to use her for the little money she saves up each week, and still that is not enough for him. Although he didn't consort to physically abusing her, but the comments he makes just to make her feel bad made me stop watching the show altogether.

These shows always makes me think of all the times in the past where I did not defend myself or stand up for what I believe in just because I wanted to keep a guy happy. It is not until now that I finally feel what it is like to be an equal in a relationship. Most importantly, to be loved for who I am, and not who I can become.

Lack of Update

So I apologize first of all for the posts that acted as lame excuses for updates. I just didn't think there was much to update on as the completion of my website is happening at a crawling speed, or that at all. Um, this lack of inspiration is killing me and my ongoing projects. By this coming week, at least two more t-shirt designs should be done. Finally got the hang of transferring my designs onto the shirts. This was mastered at two in the morning, so hopefully I will remember how to do it, and not resort to my middle of the night madness to actually get something decent done. However, upon examining my sleep cycle... I seriously doubt I will be getting anything done at an hour suitable for human living. Yes, I have turned into a sleep max four hours and run kind of zombie.

Welcome to the land of the living dead anyone? Now we all know what I've been doing during my insomnia-tic phases. 

Insomnia

Let's just say failure is definitely not an encouragement for sleep.

Words of the day: Epic Fail.

Something Growing at Eight Bit Zoo!

Exciting! So every Thursday, there will be a little bit of growing done at Eight Bit Zoo.. stay tuned and check back peeps!

Also new: a Facebook like button! We'll be launching Eight Bit Zoo's official Facebook page as well as a revamp of Twitter page!!

So many exclamation marks so little time...
xoxoxo

Update

I might have to create a company blog soon, even thought I most likely will keep this as my own personal blog. But for now, I am still here.

So things have been pretty crazy lately. That of course, is pretty much the biggest understatement of the year.

Paper People Clothing project is soon going to be wrapped up. I couldn't have asked for a better project to have taken on, since Jennifer has put my name out there in any instance possible! Without having to say, I am really really grateful for this since she didn't really have to. But if you would like to be part of the hype, she recently mentioned me in one of her interviews! (click) 

And being the overly-ambitious person that I am, another huge (yet totally exciting) thing has happened. Since I've decided a while back that the way to go for me would be freelance, I thought it was actually time to take action. Well, I didn't think it was but with a little push and shove from someone who in my mind I secretly regarded as my mentor, I am now going to take that scary step. Scary not because I don't totally crave it, but because I am obviously just starting out and far from being financially stable. Everything is costing so much more than I anticipated. Logging in my expenditures has definitely been scary!

So having said that, I now have a splash page to my website. I'll probably get a ton of questions as to why I named it what it is currently (unless you were one of the unfortunate fews who actually had me mumbling at you at every which hour!) As well, my business cards are printing and will soon be on the way! So hopefully there will be more to post on here soon. As well, there will be weekly surprises to my website until its final official launch! So you'll all just have to stay tuned. The goal here is to slowly unveil what my company is going to be like at a steady interval.

Enough of staring at the screen!
xoxoxo

A little teaser for my site :)

Request

I need coffee that does not taste like powder and leaves a bad aftertaste.
Thank you.

Those Cultural Things and Photoshop

Man, reading other people's blogs have been depressing lately. I mean everyone seems so intertwined with the things happening around them, and doing culturally acceptable things (aka not lounging around and doing nothing). 

A hobby I've been considering is painting. I've done tons of it ever since I was little since I was an art freak and all, but I guess I was just never freaky enough. It would sound so.. I don't know, just something, if I were to come on here one day and just say I was working on a painting. However, I think I've spent more time thinking about painting than actually painting. The whole thing just seems too messy. I rather shop. 

I've been so wrapped up with what technology can do, even cutting something seems too messy. In Photoshop, you can always just crop something, or Command+ Z something. The thought of even picking up a pair of scissors, and the possibility of cutting a jagged line sends shivers up and down my spine. What would I do then, if I were to cut something wrong? Where is that undo function? 

The use of Photoshop has been so engrained in my head that I would spend hours thinking of all the things I can do with it, if only it applied to real life. Not only would I have the undo function (plus the redo function if I change my mind again afterwards), but oh, the possibilities! Airbrushing my skin to perfection: never having to worry about that zit in the middle of your forehead. Or the setbacks of being an insomniac. What about that slightly crooked nose, or unaligned teeth? I'd liquify and warp it all away! And that hair colour that I want and never seem to stick? And those abs I've been eyeing on that fitness model? Just typing it out now is making me excited from all the possibilities! 

If only... 

The website has launched!

Exciting news! Paper People Clothing website finally up!!!!!!!!!
That, and I got paid! yehyehhhhh

Now onto the next one...

Click on the logo below to see the site y'all:

Epic Moment

When my sister asked what I wanted for lunch today, I answered "Business."
Freudian Slip much? LOL!

Hermit

I was going to title this post as bland. But that's not really right, since having no strong emotions is not right. Just negative emotions... the added bonus did help though LOL!

I guess it could be worse..

But back to my title: that is what I've decided. I am going to be a hermit until this summer ends.

I always relate to food. Before I was a stuffed pepper. I guess not I am a piece of white bread.

• not nutritious
• bleached white, and artificial
• is not filling or interesting
• has a bad taste in the mouth..
• not really a full meal... which kind've reflects my blog lately... choppy

Time to inhale my work! 

Mention in Jennifer Fukushima's Blog

So as some of you might know, lately two things have been occupying my time: being sick, and working on Paper People Clothing's new website. This was definitely a project that challenged me creatively, but what I didn't expect though, was a very generous blog entry from Jenn!

Check it out here! 

Um...

I just remembered my blog. I don't actually really know what to say.
I feel like a stuffed pepper and all that runs through my  head lately are codes.
If this allergy slash cold slash whatever this thing is keeps up, I swear I'll be barfing up hash-tags, javascript and uncropped pictures...

Lists

I've been staring at the title of this post for what I swear to have been five minutes. It looks funny. Lists. Then I started repeating it out loud and it made the disconnect between the word and its meaning even more severe.

Too much caffeine, not enough sleep, and definitely not enough desire for sleep.

So this post is going to be exactly what it says in the title: lists. Why? Because I don't feel like sleeping just yet. I'm still trying to chase my mind ('cause it's still running... haha...?)

Television shows watched lately:

• Franklin and Bash
• The Nine Lives of Chloe King
• Mad Love
• Hiccups
• Cougar Town
• Life Unexpected
• Love in the Wild
• Make Me a Supermodel
• Project Runway
• The Other Truth - 真相
  
• So You Think You Can Dance

Facebook games addicted to:

• My Shops
• Green Farm
• Castle & Co
• DDTank

Food I am craving:

• Sushi
• President's Choice Chocolate Chip Cookies (Yes, the brand does matter)
• All Dress Chips
• Ketchup Chips
• Gingerale
• Pillsbury Mini Pizzas 
• Bread from out of the oven
• Warm Toast
• Cinnamon Buns
• Porkchop Bun from Phoenix
• Coconut Bun from T&T
• Chicken Noodle Soup
• Cookies and Cream Icecream from Breyers
• Dairy Queen soft serve ice cream
• McDonald's Oreo McFlurry
• Lava cookie from Red Lobster
• Sunny Side-up Eggs with Toast
• Hot dog with lots of ketchup, mustard and relish
• Pepperoni peeled one by one off a slice of pizza
• Soggy Fries
• Poutine from either Harvey's or KFC

Books I've read lately:

• Random books by Sherrilyn Kenyon 
• Mr. Maybe by Jane Green
• Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin
• Love the One You're With, also by Emily Giffin
• Rules of Work by Templar
• A page of Sweet Valley Confidential by Francine Pascal (don't even get me started!!)
• Last Sacrifice (Vampire Academy Series) by Richelle Mead
• Skimmed The Carlyes Series by Cecily von Ziegesar 
• Started Omnitopia Dawn by Diane Duane
• The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han
• Wither by Lauren DeStefano 
• Bossypants by Tina Fey
• Starting Morganville Vampires series by Rachael Caine
• Tried to reread the Twilight Series 
• Rereading Ender's Game series (LOVE!)

The times when I've questioned my own sanity:

• too many to list out

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this time-waster as much as I did!

xoxo

Enjoying it too much..

That's how my sister describes my relationship with my work.

It's almost 3 AM and I still feel like I can do more. Maybe things can be aligned better, or there's got to be a better code for that thing on the website, that leads to this other thing that can also maybe look better. I wish I had this kind of relationship with exercise. If only.

Lots of progress on the website for Paper People Clothing today. Finally got my butt to work, as I've been doing nothing but dragging it around lately. The blank squares on there is driving me nuts, but that is out of my control for now.

As I was working on the site, I realized I still have not updated my portfolio or revamped my own site. It's gotten to the point where they are so outdated,  I definitely do not want to show anyone either of those. That means I can't even link my stupid site to give myself credit.. huge bummer... Bleh. I have some idea as to what I want it to look like, but definitely no time to start it yet.

Unless... is it too late to start on a website at this time? LOL! Tempting..

I want the domain name ideazoo.com, but apparently it's taken... and it's not even taken by some kool. I am disappointed to say the least. Plus, after doing some google-ing, it's also a design firm already. And there I was thinking it was the most creative idea ever. Maybe I can just add the word "the" infront of it... haha.. nope, wait, it's taken too... ugh.. makes me wish I was alive when internet first became popular, so I can grab some domains..

As a side note, my hobby of the day: vacuuming spiders. Fun.