How I Spent My Night so Far

So, came back from the worst thing ever.
Made myself coffee, when we all know I don't drink coffee anymore.
The same thing happened when I said I wouldn't drink anymore. That's when the Sangria from the fridge started to call out to me. It sounded sad. I thought I'd keep it company.
Then came back to finish watching Buffy. Watched 6 episodes so far tonight.
Then decided it was a bit too much so continued to watch Rules of Engagement.
So now I'm sitting here, not sleeping. Because of what? Because I'm as stubborn as hell.

I'm upset for reasons I rather not say just so I sound less like a spoiled brat, a bitch, or something worse anyone can think of after reading this post if I did decide to write all the details of my night/day down.

Gone are the days when I throw things around. I'm just tired. Just really really tired. That's what they mean when they say someone wants to drown themselves in something. I just haven't decided what that something is yet. These are the days when even seeing people on facebook who've let themselves go, can't make you feel better, but inspires you to be like them. Half of life is spent waiting and wondering. Nothing to do, or to be done but that. Makes me want to kick someone's ass. Anyways, you know those days when you think to yourself: If I knew this was what this day's going to turn out like, I wouldn't wake up and just sleep it away? Well I'm starting to not remember a day that isn't like that anymore. It's like how little kids start out by drawing with a pencil on a white piece of paper. Mostly everything is white except for those few marks that ruin the white. Well as time goes on, we decide to make our life more interesting. That is when we draw white figures on a black piece of paper. You no longer have little bad things happen to you, but you can step back and say at least most of the paper's still white. You end up with little tidbits of happiness that happens to you, but unless you have them, it's just all black. I'm rambling. It made more sense in my head.

Anyways.