A Tylenol and with cracker. Mix well. Serve after midnight.

Hello there my blogger friend,

I am back. Probably not by choice as in I chose to be up at this hour; although I do count it as a guilty pleasure of downloading yet another new app for this endeavor.

Much time has gone by since my last post. Although event-wise nothing much has happened, (my website is still "half" done) I do believe I've made quite a transformation as a person. I'm still not quite sure whether I like this person or not. Maybe on hind sight I would think of this as yet another one of my "rebellious stages" that I happen to have every so often. But this is who I have become now.

What I am now is equivalent to that use-to-be redhead from America's Next Top Model. Maybe not in that out of the closet lesbian sorta way, but I call myself "free." Free with those huge stupid air quotation marks around the word. Like she was actually running away from something or someone... I like to see it more of settling into what was meant to be all along.

I used to be that girl with the bi-weekly manicures. Now my favorite signature look is that constant chipped nail(s) that's always staring back at me. I used to care about being nice to someone, to not even trying. I'm now that person that relish in spending time by myself simply because it's easier that way. Im so far gone, I now romanticize eating a cracker and swallowing Tylenol by myself in the kitchen in the middle of the night after a round of having my head in the toilet from throwing up.

In some weird sick twisted way, I actually enjoy this new me. I love not having to pretend that my mom makes any sense or that she even tries to hide the fact that I am her least favorite child. Or that she even made a positive difference in my life. No longer having to nod at dry shallow "adult conversation" that explained why she even bothered to ask what I was doing with my life lately. She just wanted to show others that she actually was involved with her daughters' life.

The best part? I can scream like a maniac about the injustice of it all when I could only do so in my dreams before.

I am free.

New Splash Page!

In anticipation of the soon to be going live Eight Bit Zoo website, I have finally remade my new splash page. How this one differs from my last one, is its closer resemblance and aesthetic to my new site! Check it out here.

As well, exciting news! Finally decided on a company to print my t-shirts on! Whoop!But that's still a long way away since the website is taking priority right now.

Stay tuned!
xoxo

Strong Women

As I was watching the new Chinese drama, I felt really disturbed. It was then that I finally realized why I always preferred American ones. Why is it that women are always stepped on and make it seem like they are doing the community good by not standing up for their own rights? Like this one show in particular where clearly the man wants nothing to do with the woman except to use her for the little money she saves up each week, and still that is not enough for him. Although he didn't consort to physically abusing her, but the comments he makes just to make her feel bad made me stop watching the show altogether.

These shows always makes me think of all the times in the past where I did not defend myself or stand up for what I believe in just because I wanted to keep a guy happy. It is not until now that I finally feel what it is like to be an equal in a relationship. Most importantly, to be loved for who I am, and not who I can become.

Lack of Update

So I apologize first of all for the posts that acted as lame excuses for updates. I just didn't think there was much to update on as the completion of my website is happening at a crawling speed, or that at all. Um, this lack of inspiration is killing me and my ongoing projects. By this coming week, at least two more t-shirt designs should be done. Finally got the hang of transferring my designs onto the shirts. This was mastered at two in the morning, so hopefully I will remember how to do it, and not resort to my middle of the night madness to actually get something decent done. However, upon examining my sleep cycle... I seriously doubt I will be getting anything done at an hour suitable for human living. Yes, I have turned into a sleep max four hours and run kind of zombie.

Welcome to the land of the living dead anyone? Now we all know what I've been doing during my insomnia-tic phases. 

Insomnia

Let's just say failure is definitely not an encouragement for sleep.

Words of the day: Epic Fail.

Something Growing at Eight Bit Zoo!

Exciting! So every Thursday, there will be a little bit of growing done at Eight Bit Zoo.. stay tuned and check back peeps!

Also new: a Facebook like button! We'll be launching Eight Bit Zoo's official Facebook page as well as a revamp of Twitter page!!

So many exclamation marks so little time...
xoxoxo

Update

I might have to create a company blog soon, even thought I most likely will keep this as my own personal blog. But for now, I am still here.

So things have been pretty crazy lately. That of course, is pretty much the biggest understatement of the year.

Paper People Clothing project is soon going to be wrapped up. I couldn't have asked for a better project to have taken on, since Jennifer has put my name out there in any instance possible! Without having to say, I am really really grateful for this since she didn't really have to. But if you would like to be part of the hype, she recently mentioned me in one of her interviews! (click) 

And being the overly-ambitious person that I am, another huge (yet totally exciting) thing has happened. Since I've decided a while back that the way to go for me would be freelance, I thought it was actually time to take action. Well, I didn't think it was but with a little push and shove from someone who in my mind I secretly regarded as my mentor, I am now going to take that scary step. Scary not because I don't totally crave it, but because I am obviously just starting out and far from being financially stable. Everything is costing so much more than I anticipated. Logging in my expenditures has definitely been scary!

So having said that, I now have a splash page to my website. I'll probably get a ton of questions as to why I named it what it is currently (unless you were one of the unfortunate fews who actually had me mumbling at you at every which hour!) As well, my business cards are printing and will soon be on the way! So hopefully there will be more to post on here soon. As well, there will be weekly surprises to my website until its final official launch! So you'll all just have to stay tuned. The goal here is to slowly unveil what my company is going to be like at a steady interval.

Enough of staring at the screen!
xoxoxo

A little teaser for my site :)

Request

I need coffee that does not taste like powder and leaves a bad aftertaste.
Thank you.

Those Cultural Things and Photoshop

Man, reading other people's blogs have been depressing lately. I mean everyone seems so intertwined with the things happening around them, and doing culturally acceptable things (aka not lounging around and doing nothing). 

A hobby I've been considering is painting. I've done tons of it ever since I was little since I was an art freak and all, but I guess I was just never freaky enough. It would sound so.. I don't know, just something, if I were to come on here one day and just say I was working on a painting. However, I think I've spent more time thinking about painting than actually painting. The whole thing just seems too messy. I rather shop. 

I've been so wrapped up with what technology can do, even cutting something seems too messy. In Photoshop, you can always just crop something, or Command+ Z something. The thought of even picking up a pair of scissors, and the possibility of cutting a jagged line sends shivers up and down my spine. What would I do then, if I were to cut something wrong? Where is that undo function? 

The use of Photoshop has been so engrained in my head that I would spend hours thinking of all the things I can do with it, if only it applied to real life. Not only would I have the undo function (plus the redo function if I change my mind again afterwards), but oh, the possibilities! Airbrushing my skin to perfection: never having to worry about that zit in the middle of your forehead. Or the setbacks of being an insomniac. What about that slightly crooked nose, or unaligned teeth? I'd liquify and warp it all away! And that hair colour that I want and never seem to stick? And those abs I've been eyeing on that fitness model? Just typing it out now is making me excited from all the possibilities! 

If only... 

The website has launched!

Exciting news! Paper People Clothing website finally up!!!!!!!!!
That, and I got paid! yehyehhhhh

Now onto the next one...

Click on the logo below to see the site y'all:

Epic Moment

When my sister asked what I wanted for lunch today, I answered "Business."
Freudian Slip much? LOL!

Hermit

I was going to title this post as bland. But that's not really right, since having no strong emotions is not right. Just negative emotions... the added bonus did help though LOL!

I guess it could be worse..

But back to my title: that is what I've decided. I am going to be a hermit until this summer ends.

I always relate to food. Before I was a stuffed pepper. I guess not I am a piece of white bread.

• not nutritious
• bleached white, and artificial
• is not filling or interesting
• has a bad taste in the mouth..
• not really a full meal... which kind've reflects my blog lately... choppy

Time to inhale my work! 

Mention in Jennifer Fukushima's Blog

So as some of you might know, lately two things have been occupying my time: being sick, and working on Paper People Clothing's new website. This was definitely a project that challenged me creatively, but what I didn't expect though, was a very generous blog entry from Jenn!

Check it out here! 

Um...

I just remembered my blog. I don't actually really know what to say.
I feel like a stuffed pepper and all that runs through my  head lately are codes.
If this allergy slash cold slash whatever this thing is keeps up, I swear I'll be barfing up hash-tags, javascript and uncropped pictures...

Lists

I've been staring at the title of this post for what I swear to have been five minutes. It looks funny. Lists. Then I started repeating it out loud and it made the disconnect between the word and its meaning even more severe.

Too much caffeine, not enough sleep, and definitely not enough desire for sleep.

So this post is going to be exactly what it says in the title: lists. Why? Because I don't feel like sleeping just yet. I'm still trying to chase my mind ('cause it's still running... haha...?)

Television shows watched lately:

• Franklin and Bash
• The Nine Lives of Chloe King
• Mad Love
• Hiccups
• Cougar Town
• Life Unexpected
• Love in the Wild
• Make Me a Supermodel
• Project Runway
• The Other Truth - 真相
  
• So You Think You Can Dance

Facebook games addicted to:

• My Shops
• Green Farm
• Castle & Co
• DDTank

Food I am craving:

• Sushi
• President's Choice Chocolate Chip Cookies (Yes, the brand does matter)
• All Dress Chips
• Ketchup Chips
• Gingerale
• Pillsbury Mini Pizzas 
• Bread from out of the oven
• Warm Toast
• Cinnamon Buns
• Porkchop Bun from Phoenix
• Coconut Bun from T&T
• Chicken Noodle Soup
• Cookies and Cream Icecream from Breyers
• Dairy Queen soft serve ice cream
• McDonald's Oreo McFlurry
• Lava cookie from Red Lobster
• Sunny Side-up Eggs with Toast
• Hot dog with lots of ketchup, mustard and relish
• Pepperoni peeled one by one off a slice of pizza
• Soggy Fries
• Poutine from either Harvey's or KFC

Books I've read lately:

• Random books by Sherrilyn Kenyon 
• Mr. Maybe by Jane Green
• Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin
• Love the One You're With, also by Emily Giffin
• Rules of Work by Templar
• A page of Sweet Valley Confidential by Francine Pascal (don't even get me started!!)
• Last Sacrifice (Vampire Academy Series) by Richelle Mead
• Skimmed The Carlyes Series by Cecily von Ziegesar 
• Started Omnitopia Dawn by Diane Duane
• The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han
• Wither by Lauren DeStefano 
• Bossypants by Tina Fey
• Starting Morganville Vampires series by Rachael Caine
• Tried to reread the Twilight Series 
• Rereading Ender's Game series (LOVE!)

The times when I've questioned my own sanity:

• too many to list out

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this time-waster as much as I did!

xoxo

Enjoying it too much..

That's how my sister describes my relationship with my work.

It's almost 3 AM and I still feel like I can do more. Maybe things can be aligned better, or there's got to be a better code for that thing on the website, that leads to this other thing that can also maybe look better. I wish I had this kind of relationship with exercise. If only.

Lots of progress on the website for Paper People Clothing today. Finally got my butt to work, as I've been doing nothing but dragging it around lately. The blank squares on there is driving me nuts, but that is out of my control for now.

As I was working on the site, I realized I still have not updated my portfolio or revamped my own site. It's gotten to the point where they are so outdated,  I definitely do not want to show anyone either of those. That means I can't even link my stupid site to give myself credit.. huge bummer... Bleh. I have some idea as to what I want it to look like, but definitely no time to start it yet.

Unless... is it too late to start on a website at this time? LOL! Tempting..

I want the domain name ideazoo.com, but apparently it's taken... and it's not even taken by some kool. I am disappointed to say the least. Plus, after doing some google-ing, it's also a design firm already. And there I was thinking it was the most creative idea ever. Maybe I can just add the word "the" infront of it... haha.. nope, wait, it's taken too... ugh.. makes me wish I was alive when internet first became popular, so I can grab some domains..

As a side note, my hobby of the day: vacuuming spiders. Fun.

Progress

It's like one step forward and ten steps back.

It's not about what is written here, it's what I've erased.

Sleep

... or rather, not sleeping.

Someone help me. After around 2 hours of sleep (which is rounding up and not down), I am wide awake.

The lazy person in me wants me to lounge around in bed all day... while the other part... haha who am I kidding, there is no other part! But the worst thing about being awake and just lying there, is the painful awareness that parts of your body becomes numb after a certain period of time. This causes me to have to shift and change positions. This is a nuisance. And in my opinion, defeats the whole purpose of lounging around. If I have to move, it might as well be moving productively.

And that leads to why I am sitting in front of the computer before one in the afternoon for once.

Man life is hard... LOL

*** btw is it just me, or is there a new UI to this whole posting thing? I'm not complaining though! Looks wayyyy more sleek and doesn't look like I'm typing in a random textbox on Zuup :) LOVE!

To my Blog

Dear Blog,

I was thinking of all the progress we've been making lately. Our relationship in the past has suffered a lot because I was either busy with my work, or just plain lazy. The last thing I want to do is make you feel neglected again, but I have something to confront you about.

I have been missing the feel of a pen in my hand, and the way it seem to magically transform a mess of scribbles into unfinished thoughts that only I would understand. What I'm trying to say is, I would like to explore my relationship with someone new: the hard cover diary I've been eyeing at the store lately.

I know this will not be easy for you to listen to, but every time I see it on the shelf in that old cramped up store, at the old Chinese mall near my house, I feel like it's the only thing that calls out to me. I promised I'll not let our relationship slip away again. But I want to do this for me. I know I already have a lot to be thankful for: like the worn out cover that shows how much I love my sketchbook, or the twenty-seven dollars and ten cents you promise me when I click the 'Monetize' tab, but I feel like it's still not enough. What I need is to feel the texture of the paper rub against my knuckles as I write, and the satisfaction of flipping the pages. I'm scared. I'm scared I'll forget how to write with a pen again.

Maybe we can make out an agreement, like typing the most interesting of thoughts and reorganize them on here? I swear your pictures will always be more colourful than the scribbled out messes that I occasionally might draw in there.

Let me know what you think, and remember: you will always be a significant part of my life.

xoxo

Pretty Cool View!

So I was just going through my rss feeds, and I just learned something new! Lately, I've been constantly stalking this blog called "start and don't stop", and I've learned that by adding "/view" at the end of any blogger address you'd get this choice of different navigation styles! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can view her lovely post here. So the curious being that I am decided to check it out and I actually have to say I sent as much as 20 minutes on there just looking at the different views! LOL!

I particularly like the "mosaic" view. I guess it wouldn't really work as well, or look that pretty if the blog doesn't have as much pictures. But being the narcissist that I am, obviously I was trying this out with my own blog! Haha, and I thought it looked pretty awesome.

Yea, it's chopped up in the middle and missing a piece, but who needs three screenshots when you can see it for yourself? (click)

1:54 AM

I'm sitting here wearing one of the many t-shirts I borrowed from my boyfriend, and looking up at the new shelf he built for me. It's the simple little things that reminds me of how in love I am.

I wish I can upload and share the picture I took of this moment.

Chicken Noodles

As I was in the kitchen today, cooking chicken noodle soup my mind started to wander. I love those times when you can just stare off and peacefully let you mind wander. Today it was just me and a rather lonely house.

I imagined the house flooded with water right around me, and how I wouldn't care. The water rising up until it got up to a little bit lower than my knees. The tiled floor replaced by a soft layer of sand that I can wiggle my toes in.

I kick around the water, splashing like a little kid. When I get tired, I sit on the edge of the wooden table in my kitchen that tries too hard to be fancy. Rest my bowl of chicken noodle soup on my knees and eat.

______________________________________________________
Then I started to think about how as a kid, I had believed the numbers from one to ten were tiny little figures.

1 would a stern solider type figure that was too full of himself (yes, they had genders) for his own good. With his head looking out towards all the other numbers thinking it was more superior. I don't blame it though, since everyone keeps telling him he's the best.

2 was a handsome guy, who didn't know better. He was your average good guy who was too dumb for his own good, and too invested in his looks. He is one's only friend since they are the only ones that can stand the company of each other.

3 was an old man who I could never figure out, but only always looked on the group.

4 a lady. One of those you see in movies who seem to be always watching something or someone. She is quite the proper middle aged lady, and wears one of those large brimmed hats with flower on top of the ribbon. You can't help but think she always knows your dirty little secrets...

5 is a middle aged man who is a little too thick around his centre. His belly is only held up by the brown leather belt he wears with everything. Most of the time it's a checkered shirt with thin blue lines running horizontally and vertically. He is secretly in love with 4, but has never admitted it to anyone and  thinks it's too late to.

6 is an athlete. He is quite handsome, and I think he is more handsome and manly than 2 is, but no one will ever say it out loud since no one is supposed to be good looking and kind at the same time. He is indeed my favorite number, but I always feel like that doesn't need to be said since who wouldn't love 6?

7, or Isabelle as she would like to be called at times. She is a fussy young lady who you would image would read vogue. She often wears a tight pencil skirt that reveals her well-toned body. One of those woman you'd love to hate, but can't because she just looks too perfect. It makes you wonder how much work she puts in to look as good as she does. Isabelle is absolutely gorgeous, and her only flaw is that she knows it.

*** 6 and 7 are an item. They are one of those couples where girls think 6 is too good for 7, and guys think 7 is too hot to settle down. 6 is well mannered and polite to 7, although this makes people suspect his love for his other half. 7 pretends to be too full of herself and high maintenance, but secretly she is totally in love with 6, and wonders whether he is nice to her just like he is with everyone else.

8 is a fat man who keeps trying to hit on 7, and plainly, people are just grossed out by him.

9 is a well dressed, but toned down middle age man. He is clearly rich, but keeps to himself even though he appears to be friendly enough. He is not too full of himself to say hi to the others, but it always seems like it's more of an acknowledgement than a greeting. Many think he used to be, or is still in finance.

I would stop at 9, because then it just seems weird and I can't wrap my head around the idea of 10. It just was an ending to the line of numbers. And yes, they were always in a line, and never out of place.

The Day I Gave a Child a Pair of New Shoes

I bet I fooled you into thinking I was just that generous didn't I?! Well, I have to be honest, this is a blog about getting those darn TOMS... darn them..

I got them. Not what I intended to get, but I got them. 

Thanks bee!  

My hunnie spoils me rotten! xoxo

*** Just as a side note, I do realize the white border on the picture now looks really redundant... I realized this after I already made the image and uploaded it.. too lazy to fix, so I shall leave it at that :)

The End

TOMS?!

Is it just me, or are TOMS looks better by the minute?!
I used to think they were the ugliest pairs of shoes on the planet, but like Crocs, they came up with more stylish... styles? And I am now seriously considering them. I mean, it is going a little bit over board I think when they show people wearing them to their wedding, but I can see myself rockin a pair on a casual day.

Which pair should I get?!

Ridiculous

I feel like I should have a picture of me pointing to the title of this post, and just end this entry at that. Because really, it's just that: ridiculous. I don't know where the time went, or how I ended up feeling like I was literally tossed into the month on June, and now facing the end of it! The question that kept popping up while I was prepping myself to write this entry was, "What on earth have I been doing this month?" The only thing that came to mind was the huge project I currently took on, but being the ever guilty multi-tasker, I know it couldn't have been just that. So that is why I am blaming my seemingly lack of events on amnesia.

This new branding project has been taking a toll on me, not because it's been particularly hard, nor is my new boss demanding, but rather it is because of my withdrawal symptoms. For those of you that know me, drinking coffee takes up around 90% of my life, if not more. The first half of the month I was convinced I no longer needed coffee, while the second half of the month I spent all my energy convincing myself that I deserved a break from not drinking coffee. That was probably where all my time went, contemplating whether or not to have coffee, then justifying to myself why it was no big deal to drink a cup or four when I finally caved in. Other than my struggle with the on again and off again caffeine addiction, the project is going great.

Another interesting event though, is that today is me and my lovely boyfriend's three years minus one month anniversary. Yes, I know it's ridiculous. I hope he doesn't read this entry or the surprise will be ruined, but here's a little something I made for this amazing person in my life :) Honestly, the constant in my life that makes it bearable. I don't know who else can tolerate me and my craziness.

This card is drawn on a regular white piece of paper, with pen and colour pencils.
Giraffe with a detachable envelope with handwritten letter.
Underneath: a heart-shaped window with hidden message :)

Besides cards, I seldom get to draw anything with a pen or pencil nowadays, other than the random sketch of concepts here and there. Since I've discovered my love of digital artwork, colouring something stroke by stroke just seems really tedious and I have now fallen into a fear of making mistakes that I can not correct with a click of the mouse. So if I ever make a card for you, you know you're special. Plus, handwritten letters are so underrated nowadays...

Taking a picture of this card has also got me to notice that I rarely use my camera now. Despite how I kept thinking to myself that I would take it on "artistic excursions" that would result in beautiful photography, I have not even taken the camera out of my house since the last fashion photoshoot. The easily accessible card reader that is now built into my computer does nothing to ease my guilt either.

Maybe I have a thing against cameras. I bought my Diana F+ with me on my trip the past week, and the only picture I took of it was of me making a silly face before I got into the car prior to departure. Epic Fail. I didn't even realize I left it in my boyfriend's car after the trip until he brought it up. What comes after 'epic fail'?

This is me attempting to update my blog. I apologize if this post made no sense to anyone but myself; or even myself, after I read this a couple days later. I feel completely groggy and my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton then was used as a punching bag by a four year old. However, after reading my dear writer friend's blog, the realization, then guilt of not updating my blog finally caught up to me.

Ok this is it, other than, spot the amount of times I've used the word 'guilt' in this entry. This may call for a change of the title for this post. Haha... working titles...

xoxo

Mail!

We live in a world where people no longer write letters by hand, and even the phrase for sending mail has a negative connotation: snail mail. You even have to lengthen the amount of time it takes to say the word snail. Snnnaailllll mail. 

Because of this, it is always a treat and almost an adrenaline rush to hear the sound of your doorbell and find the mailman/woman on the other side of your door. Even though the package I received today was an expected one, this did not dampen my excitement. 

Here it is in all its glory:

It even had a sweet note from my boss attached to it! I think its always simple things that you don't expect (like this bright coloured note) that seems to make my day. And being an intern that I am, this is actually really unbelievable! :) 

Having seen the product photos multiple times, I expected a plain black box, but it came nicely wrapped in pretty pink tissue paper. The cherry on top was absolutely the pink ribbon and the overall presentation of it all! This is saying a lot since those of you that know me, know that I am a sucker for packaging and have been known to buy products based on the packaging alone. (Yes I know, tsk tsk) 

For those of you have that have been wondering, or wasn't aware of this, but this company's name is pronounced as silk. Why this name you say? If you actually asked this I'd have to LOL at you. Their website just recently came online and you can check it out yourself at http://www.cilque.com. All their items are 100 percent silk, from their different coloured pillowcases to their bed sets. The intriguing thing to me about their company besides its benefits to beauty, is the products named after desserts like how brown is not just brown, but Belgium Chocolate, and white is not just white, it's Creme Brulee! Sweet!

Here are more pictures about
 

So this was me sharing this little piece of joy with you for today. 

Time Passes

So it's almost midnight again. Technically it's going to be a new day, but it never feels like it ends at that time. My day ends almost always around 2 a.m. (if I'm lucky) As an insomniac, this is always either the most peaceful time of the day or the most stressful, depending on whether I want to sleep that day I guess.

I spent hours trying to come up with a Twitter page for the lovely lady I am working for currently. And yes, I refer to my boss as the lovely lady as I think I am still in the honey moon phase of starting a new job. She is quite lovely and fun to work with, unlike the dread I feel everytime I know I have to go into my retail job the following day. Today was a relatively good day, as I finally got paid for my not so hard, but long-houred retail job. So I guess not I can feel a bit of the tension easing as I am now a few dollars less poor. Getting back to my Twitter page, I spent hours designing this layout, manipulating the photo I had to work with until it was almost unrecognizable (which was the entire point as I was given nothing else to work with). The whole idea could be scrapped by tomorrow, and the weird thing is, I don't think I really mind all that much!

Is this a good or a bad sign? Does it mean I didn't try enough or I just expect it to be rejected?

Another Book Finished

So this is my second post within twenty-four hours. I had expected a day filled with work and studying for the oncoming exams that are happening for the next two days. But it wasn't. I spent the better half of my day curled up in bed reading. It's the first in a long time that I've actually read a book.

I have been reading a lot, having finished series after series of Sherrilyn Kenyon's books. From her connected three series of Dreamhunters, Werehunters and Darkhunters (as well as her teen fiction series revolving around one of the characters when he was younger) to her science fiction League series. I have got to say that I have fallen in love. However, books do not grow on trees, and as I stare at the counter anticipating her next book release, I found myself venturing off to find another series in which I can indulge my time in. I often find these books at Costco.

As I wander down the aisle of discounted books, I find myself to be one of those people whom innately judge books innately their covers. I often find it both exciting to find books that I'd never pick up at Indigos after flipping them over to find their prices to be equivalent to that of a fancy lunch, but guilty at the same time that I am not only judging a book by its cover, but by its barcode as well. Despite how I relish in the fact that I can get cheaply priced books at Costco, I feel another sense of guilt knowing that a quality book should not be dismissed because of it's price and remember an elementary school teacher lecturing us on the priceless value of good literature.

Now after a long rant, most of you are probably wondering what book I have just finished.

From the images above, you will know that it's the same books, but different cover renditions. Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin.  Yes, I chose the one with the movie poster cover, and it was actually that, that I picked up the book in the first place. I had thought it was fate that I have to buy the book, as my ever-loving boyfriend had just mentioned the movie the night before and I thought it had to be more than a coincidence that I had found the book while browsing the asile.

The book was everything I expected, but at the same time anything but what I expected. I can see why it was made into another one of those chick flicks that guys loathe the existence of, and was surprised at the unexpected elements that these movies often times lack. Incase someone read this and blames me for spoiling it for them, I will not give anything away, but I just have to say it drew me in instantly from page one. Psyche!  I am so going to say what happened as I am too shocked to keep it in. I am undoubtedly a skimmer, and yet I found myself actually reading. Don't laugh but I am one of those people whom skips pages at a time because I dub them as a waste of time and can't stand a lull in conversation or action, then only flip back to skim pages only when I realized I had missed something of significance. Yes, I am one of those people.

***Spoiler***
So the book revolves around the friendship of two girls. One of which is one of those girls from high school, that always seems to get what she wants, and the other of course is the one that witnesses this from the sidelines and feels used. I know most of you are probably assuming that I fell in love with this book because I was the girl that was standing on the side being abused by her best friend and that I saw the whole injustice of it all. But you are wrong. I couldn't help but wonder whether I have used some people and knowingly or unknowingly thrived on that. But this book starts off with the popular girl throwing a birthday bash for her best friend, resulting in her fiance having one too many drinks and sleeping with the birthday girl. After this drunken affair, they both realized their love (just just lust to begin with) and have a full-fledged affair. I have to say that I found guilty pleasure in reading about their affair, sneaking around and yet they seem so guilt-free. The wedding was soon approaching and yet they still indulged in their affair like it wasn't about to happen, always pushing it aside believing that there was more time. I will skip these parts and let you read it for yourself, knowing, or just hoping that you will like it as much as I did. The juicy part however is when the book comes to an end and an ultimatum is given: call off the wedding or call off the affair. The guy shows up at the apartment, where I was sure he would tell the main character the "good news" of a cancelled wedding.

I felt like I was the one hearing the news when he decided it was too cruel of him to call off the wedding at that point, but not too cruel to have an affair in the first place. And blah blah blah, I will always still love you no matter what, blah blah blah. Then the guy tries to win over sympathy votes by crying, just because if a guy cries, it must be breaking his heart because guys just don't cry for no reason. The girl then goes off the England to visit her friend, hooks up with a random friend of a friend, but doesn't actually just because he had perfect vision and so didn't have the saline solution that the girl needed to put her contacts in if she were to stay the night. (Nice.) Lesson to the guys: always have saline solution as it is as important as having lubricant and condoms at hand.

As she arrives back in nice ol' America, who is waiting for her but the ex-partner in crime. He has called off the wedding, and they were to live happily ever after. That is when the raging ex-bride storms up into the apartment (still not aware of the affair at this point) and confesses. Not only did she have an affair of her own, which she confessed about in a prior part of this book, but she is pregnant! What annoyed me the most about this part, was that even though she got banged up, she manages to bathe herself in a good light by claiming that she felt so bad, but she is going to marry her baby-daddy and rubs it in everyone's faces that she has to be pregnant because she has a perfect twenty-eight day menstrual cycle. It was only at this part of the novel that I truly despised her. The guy at this time is still in his boxers, and crouching in the closet while holding onto his clothes listening. What he didn't remember to bring with him to the closet though, was his watch which is soon brought to the attention of the sad guilty ex-bride. She of course was sad until she notices this minor detail sitting on the nightstand and finds the real reason why her ex-fiance had called off the wedding.

She somehow manages to make it about herself again, and how she was cheated on. The best friends never talk to each other again as far as I'm concerned, and is the way it's supposed to be. I admire the author for not making a half-assed effort to make them hug it out and say how they're so sorry for everything that happened and then end with "oh our friendship is so much stronger now that we've overcome this."

This blog will now end with you imagining me applauding  the author. :)

Awake

It seems as if the only posts I put up these days are posts saying how long I haven't posted. The lack of words is really hurting my blogging in the most obvious way: not blogging at all. The time that pasted by since the last blog entry is a complete blur, with the usual school assignments, job/work search, and online episode-watching marathons. For a week or two now, it seems like life has finally settled down a bit, and I can finally take a long awaited breather.

Has it ever occurred to any of you out there, that certain milestones seem really significant, and deemed to be life changing, until you actually get there? It seems to bother me, especially looking back to those certain expectantly significant effects, that when it's over, all you're left doing is a huge "Huh? That was it?" kind of feeling. I've begun to realize that I've gotten to the point in my life where saying I'm still in school sounds just plain silly, and I've gone from saying I have homework to do, to having assignments, to thinking even the word assignment gives off a somewhat childish vibe. At the same time, hearing myself say "I have to go to work" just seems surreal and a bit overstated like a child preparing for a school play and claiming they have to put on a performance.

So I've concluded that I'm in that awkward in-between phase, like the one that you're only supposed to experience during teenage puberty. Like my limbs are too long, but I'm still too young to wear the right sized clothes, because those clothes just seem too old.


Many of you might be wondering what have set off this random rant, and yet I've asked myself this many times as well as I'm writing this. Between working days on end for a project that only really sums up to around 50 pages that look like a childish creation, trying to convince a panel of judges not to fail me so I can move on to presenting my work at an exhibition, to actually getting in and missing it all together because I work way too much, I can no longer remember when one thing ends and another begins. All I remember is working with no signs of the end in sight, my dad coping with my grandmother's death in really weird ways (like asking me to help format his computer a billion times because something is always wrong and fixing the Wii at four in the morning) and thinking I have to get that dream job. Looking back, it just all seems so insignificant, and yet, I wish I had the time to bathe in these moments that are supposed to mean something. I feel like I missed it all. In a blink of an eye, the time has passed. As my education is coming to an end, I have this ache in the pits of my stomach. The one where you feel like you should've done something differently, not knowing what should've been different, but just something, anything.

I feel like even after weeks of "slowing down" I'm still trying to catch up with all that has happened. If I were a doctor, I would prescribe a bottle of Pepto Bismol for the symbolic upset stomach for life's never ending events.